Day Three: Yoga Teacher Training

Flowers in the shala

I slept better last night than the night before. 11pm-550am. Felt rested, despite waking up at 4am to my a/c making this grating noise again.

615-7 mediation

7-8 pranayama class. Today we learned a breathing technique involving holding in the breath. We also practiced kapalabahti breathing.

8-10 asana class. Today was a better asana for me because my wrists weren’t as bad as yesterday.  We focused specifically on primary series B with emphasis on breaking down warrior one. I wasn’t starving by the end of the class because when I woke up, I had some corn flakes that I bought yesterday at 7/11.

10-11 silent breakfast. Breakfast wasn’t as good today as yesterday. It was hard boiled eggs and plain yogurt which obviously left a lot to be desired.

11-1 lecture. Today’s lecture was on kriyas (purification techniques). I had had anxiety all morning about having to do the neti pot. Sorry, but I’m not one to voluntarily put water up one nostril and let it drip out the other. Then my mom sent me an email saying I definitely shouldn’t do  it, as two people died last year in the states from a brain-eating ameba they caught from the water in their neti pot. Well, I was assured the water we were using was drinking water and I figured I could suck it up and at least try it. I did a few drips in each nostril but I don’t think I’ll be doing it again…and there will be a second time…and third..and fourth, because we are going to do it every morning before meditation class for the rest of the month.

We also talked about breatharians (people who survive on nothing but sun gazing, water and air). Apparently our teachers have met this guy who has been a breatharian for 15 years. Obviously he doesn’t lead a ‘normal’ life with a job, wife, kids, etc. He does nothing but meditation, yoga, and sun gazing. He is not very lucid, they said, which isn’t surprising. But I guess that done in an ashram under guidance of a guru there is no physical harm in being a breatharian.

1:30-3:30 lunch (pumpkin, carrot and onion in yellow curry with brown rice)

3:30-5 methods class. Talked about foundations, how to set asanas, and adjustments (see pics below). We talked about various ways to adjust and assist people, and how to talk them through the breathing.

5-630 teaching practice. Lead people through vinyasa flow and adjusted them as needed. It is just a mouthful to say all the little steps when teaching- not at all relaxing!! 

Here's a little friend I found outside my room:

So apart from the accommodation, I feel really great here. It is surprising because I feel like the meals are so light that I'm hungry an hour after eating. That being said, I can't believe the amount of energy I have. I've been up since 5:50 this morning and have sat through something like a total of 9 hours of class in 99 degree heat, but I don't feel lethargic or weak at all. Must be the meditation and pranayama class helping with that. Pretty cool. 

I am looking forward to our day off on Saturday. The days go by so fast, and I feel like there's a lot of information being given to us, so it will be nice to have a day to relax and absorb the program so far. 

Day 1 Teacher Training

Quick post from my phone- had a very full day.
615-8 pranayama and meditation class
8-10 yoga class (all on empty stomach, btw, and normally I eat four eggs and oatmeal for breakfast so you can imagine how I felt!)
10-11 breakfast
11-130 break down of asanas
130-330 lunch and break (salad...washed in tap water I was told. Say a prayer for me, friends!)
330-630 teaching practice and acro-yoga intro
7-8 dinner (had kale!!!)


Here I am this morning, all bundled up because it's so cold before the sun comes up.

First Impressions

Admittedly, I overreacted. Now that I'm unpacked, have met a few of the other people and realize I am not the only one nervous about this experience, I feel less like I'm living in a refugee camp.

Opening ceremony was beautiful. We did a guided meditation (that I desperately needed). Then we talked about what to expect. Our days are scheduled from 6:15am until 8pm with breaks for eating. We are studying six days a week, with a day off on Saturday.

Yoga Shala

Pool area from the yoga shala 

I guess the only issue I have is the room. It feels dark, musty, and the vampires mosquitos are everywhere. I don't know about you, but whenever I'd see mosquito nets I'd feel like it looked so romantic and pretty...but now that I've slept under one (took a nap earlier), I have changed my mind- they make me feel claustrophobic!! Gah. Ok, but whatever, it's only a few weeks, right? 

I do wish I would start feeling better. My stomach has been hurting so badly for the last two days. I'm sure it's just normal travel stuff, but it doesn't make it any easier especially when you're in a new situation. 

Arrived

Arrived at yoga resort today. I was up all night sick so.....not feeling awesome. At all.

No wifi in room, so posts won't be as frequent.

Place is....rustic, to put it mildly. Lots of Mosquitos. Room is dark, dusty and no screens on windows. Good times!

Ommmmm

The Day I Was Bitten By A Tiger

Calm yourselves, the offending tiger was 1.5 months old, meaning the bite felt like a pinch and I pulled his face up and he still had hold of my skirt! Oops. No skin was broken and no hole in my skirt, so we were still friends after that:

Excuse me for being a sweaty mess. It is 99 degrees in this picture and I drove in an open air tuk tuk for 45 mins to get to this place, enjoying the sweet breeze of diesel fuels and burning forrest. Good times. In other news, how freaking adorable in this little guy?! I'm so not a cat person (highly allergic), but I thought he was worth the risk!

On Solo Travel

In an effort to stay authentic and honest, I'd like to talk openly about my experience so far. I've received a lot of encouragement and support from twitter and instagram followers, which I very much appreciate, but I wonder if maybe I'm being a bit misleading. 

I'm really grateful for the opportunity to be here. I am so thankful and lucky to have a supportive husband and family who understand that I really needed to come here. I say "needed" because I've had a really tough year with lyme disease that kept me pretty confined to my house (at one point I couldn't leave the house for 11 days straight) and now that I'm getting back on my feet health wise, I felt like this would be the perfect balance of adventure (traveling to Thailand) and calm (yoga experience). 

There have been some great moments this past week: studying by the pool accompanied by a lone lizard, soaking up the warmth that my joints so desperately needed; having my first pad thai and pad pat luang jai; being in one of the most famous Buddhist temples and meditating behind monks...

But sometimes I read solo travel blogs like Johnny Vagabond or Adventurous Kate and wonder how these people truly enjoy solo travel because so far, if I'm being totally honest, it has been kind of a rough go for me. Maybe I'm out of practice (it's been exactly twelve years since my last extended period solo trip), or maybe I'm just emotionally and physically weak from my tough year with lyme. Or maybe it's just not in my nature to be gung ho about being alone in a strange place. 

Not that Thailand is "strange". On the contrary- it is beautiful, with the kindest people, most delicious food and breathtaking temples. But it's certainly no Europe, where I can easily blend in to the background. I don't look Asian and I don't speak Thai, so when I venture away from my hotel (which, admittedly, hasn't been often), I feel...uncomfortable. Not like I'm in any danger, but just out of place. In the crowded, chaotic streets, I feel like I stick out, which makes my guard go up and my heart race. Venturing off the hotel grounds is not the eat, pray, love experience I had imagined. 

Even staying on the hotel grounds is tough for me mentally because I don't have anyone to talk with in person. Maybe that's my own fault. Maybe instead of a boutique hotel I should've booked a guest house where there's a high turnover rate of backpackers. Due to the six hour time change from Germany and twelve hour time change from my family in the states, for the majority of my days in Thailand I don't have anyone to text/skype with. So I end up reading (which is wonderful), blogging (which I love), and thinking-which sometimes makes me a little crazy because I over-think, and worry about anything and everything. 

Of course, tomorrow I move from my hotel to the yoga shala in the mountains where I'll start the teacher training and my days will be scheduled and I'll have a group of English speaking, like-minded people with whom I can relate, and I won't feel so lonesome and conflicted. But I just wanted to set the record straight because people have said, "I envy you" and "I'm living vicariously through you!" and I want to be clear- while overall it's been a positive experience, it hasn't exactly been rainbows and unicorns. Maybe it will be baby tigers though, because I'm thinking about forcing myself up off this bed and out to the tiger sanctuary where you can play with the beasts.

Tuk Tuk Hagglers, A Yoga Mat, & Burn Season

Day three has gone much better than day two- a relief because when you're in that unfamiliar jet lagged daze for too many days in a row you really start to question your sanity.

I'll start with the weather. 99 degrees today, and with low visibility due to what I've discovered is called "burn season". Apparently farmers in northern Thailand burn their acreage because the charred remains provide nitrogen-rich fertilizer. After burning, the farmer will plow the field to better distribute the fertilizer to help the field bounce back. The problem with this is that it causes poor air quality (see low visibility pic above). People are starting to wear masks when they drive around, and quite honestly, I've wondered why my lungs haven't felt quite right since I've been here. This is also done in neighboring Myanmar (Burma) and Laos, and the air gets kind of trapped in northern Thailand. So, back to my day, not only was it exceedingly hot, but it was difficult to breathe!

This morning I had made up my mind to get a yoga mat come hell or high water. I have to learn the names of about thirty new poses and my hotel floor is shellacked concrete, so I really needed a mat for hands on learning. I called a yoga studio and this sweet girl told me to get myself to Airport Plaza- a shopping mall. 

Well, instant anxiety ensued when I realized I couldn't just walk to the mall. A hotel worker helped me get a tuk tuk, and while we waited, she asked me a million questions like if I'm a student, where I am from, what I'm doing here, and how old I was. She was so surprised to find out I am 28. "Me, too!" she told me. She must be a young 28 though because she looks like she's 15!

Anyway the tuk tuk driver helps me in and we're off. The mall is located near the airport, in...not the greatest area. He dropped me off, and for a second I considered asking him to wait for me for 100 baht extra- he was just so nice and his English was fantastic, but I chickened out once I saw there was a line of tuk tuk drivers outside the mall and I could just hop into any one when I was done. 

To enter the mall, I walked through a metal detector and passed a guard who looks like a real life mannequin- small, serious, and waxy. The mall is larger than I had expected. Like five stories large. And, conveniently, no damn map anywhere to be found. 

You know that hunger point where it goes from just a little stomach pain to GETMESOMEFOODRIGHTNOWBEFOREIPASSOUT? That decided to hit me that very instant, but I honestly just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, so onward I trekked.

Something wasn't right though. I felt very out of place. The mall was packed, and I realized I was the only foreigner. I could feel people looking at me- kids in their school uniforms pointing and whispering farang, farang. I stopped by a kiosk that sold handmade laptop sleeves and asked for a sports store. They stared at me, confused. Bright red, I kept moving. I stopped in to a cell phone shop and asked for a sports store. They point upstairs. I go to the next level. There is a restaurant with dead chickens in the window, a pizza hut, a starbucks (!!!!) but I was on a mission. 

By some stroke of luck, I stumbled upon an information desk. The ladyboy (what the Thais call transvestites) at the desk tells me to go to the fourth floor and look for Super Sport. (Side note: apparently Thailand has had no gay movement because they were very accepting of gays/lesbians/transgendered people from the get-go. Don't you love that?) Anyway, I headed to the fourth floor. I covered the entire floor which is harder than it sounds, with people staring and pointing and giggling at you like you forgot to put your pants on. I didn't feel unsafe-I just felt uncomfortably out of place. There was no Super Sport to be found. Finally I wander into this department store called Robinson. I ask an older woman for Super Sport and she rattles off in Thai and points to the back of the store. I follow her direction and find a small sport section tucked in the back corner. A younger girl approaches me. "Sowatdee kahhhh," she says, wai-ing to me. (I've noticed that it seems like everyone draws out the last word when they speak.)

"Sowatdee kahhh," I say, and awkwardly nod back towards her (I've read that foreigners shouldn't wai (bow) back unless they are 100% sure of the situation. There are a lot of social rules to wai-ing- you shouldn't do it to service industry people even if they do it to you first because it could be rude, etc. etc.)

She opens her arms and her eyes go wide as she says, "Super Sporrrrt," as if she's showing me some magical rainforest. 

You've got to be kidding me. This little corner of Robinson's, which has no sign, by the way, is the grand Super Sport I've been searching for?! I spot a few yoga mats and I walk over. 550 baht ($18) later, I'm walking out the door.

Down at the tuk tuk line, I encounter my first tuk tuk haggler. I hand him my hotel's business card, and he says, "150 baht." Ok, it cost me 100 baht to get there, so I know he's ripping me off.

"100," I say firmly. (Amateur move, I should've shot lower and then worked my way up.)

"140," he says.

"100." 

He shakes his head and flicks his wrist like he's done with me. "No," he says. (Just so we're clear, the difference we're arguing about is about $2 and I know it's not a lot, but he's not even being nice about it!)

I go to the next guy, a wrinkly faced man. I hand him the card.

"150 baht," he says.

"100," I say. His eyes are warm and he is very old.

"140?" he asks hopefully.

"120," I cave. He smiles a toothless grin and helps me into the tuk tuk. 

Back at the hotel, I finally order some food. I do a typically "me" thing. I just ask for what I want, even though it's not on the menu. (That's kind of a lie- I really want a fresh salad which is on the menu but I'm terrified to eat uncooked veggies here because if they wash them with their tap water I'm scared I'll get sick.) So I do the next best thing and ask for a lot of stir fry veggies and tofu. $2.95 later, I am served this at the pool:

Oh happy day! It was SO delicious.

The rest of the afternoon involved a plunge in the cold pool, and a study sesh:

Only two more days until the yoga training begins!

Little Friends

It's no secret that I'm not fond of spiders. I haven't seen one yet, (::knocks on wood::) but yesterday I had this little guy for poolside company. I heard him making his way through the greenery and saw the long tail and thought it was a snake at first. But then he came waltzing out onto the deck and I saw his little legs. What a cutie, right? 

Other creatures I've seen so far: a giant beast of a bug not unlike a fat flying caterpillar, a little grey monkey scurrying through the trees no bigger than my forearm, and some vampires mosquitos. I will not be disappointed if those are the only creatures I see while I'm here. ;)

I had wanted to go to this elephant sanctuary but I am conflicted. I have read awful things like in order for an elephant to be trained, his 'spirit must be broken'. Elephants are tortured until they realize they are no longer in control, and then they can be trained to do tricks, give rides, etc. This one elephant sanctuary I had in mind is a little different than the others in town in that they don't do tricks, but you still can ride them. I don't know. Something about that doesn't sit well with me, so I think I may pass on that, much as I'd like to meet an elephant up close and personal.

Today's plan is to relax, study the sanskrit names of some yoga poses, and maybe try to figure out my plan b for getting a yoga mat. 

The places you'll go and things you will see

I am so happy to report I slept better than last night- only woke up at 3 and again around 5, but immediately was able to go back to sleep. I had a banana pancake, two fried eggs and some watermelon for breakfast and set off in pursuit of a yoga mat. I was told to walk about 5 blocks, go over the bridge and take a right. I was told there would be a market that I couldn't possibly miss. At the market I'd be able to find my yoga mat.

So, being somewhat anxiety ridden when it comes to new things like, oh, I don't know, a walk for an unknown distance to an unknown market in a foreign country where I don't know more than how to say hello and thank you, I felt my heart start to race. I gently pushed out the "what if's" (what if I pass out, what if I get mugged, what if I get lost, what if, what if, what if) and focused on my breath.

I arrived at the bridge, and snapped this picture of the entryway to the Old Town. I believe this guy is the king. Thai people are very proud of their king and the entire royal family. (Of note: it is a punishable offense to talk badly about the royal family. People actually are put in jail for it.)

I kept on walking, going past the post office I was told I'd pass, and some telecommunications museum (huh?). Then, I walked right into the smell of fresh fish. Not exactly pleasant, but I felt like it meant I was almost to the market. 

I saw every kind of flower ever grown, and past each table there was a long alley lined with people setting up shop: 

I saw a lot of fruit I recognized, and a lot of mystery fruit I didn't, but no yoga mat. I walked down a few alleys, feeling more claustrophobic with each stand I passed. I saw men with hammers banging mystery meat, ladies with buckets in front of them filled with live fish, snakes (or maybe leeches?), eels. Old ladies wearing rice paddy hats arranging unidentifiable pastries. I passed a monk giving a blessing to an elderly woman whose head was bowed and hands in prayer position, no care to her stand of crushed ice with full bodied fish (eyes and everything!). I passed racks and racks of clothing (lots of Angry Bird t-shirts), and finally, to get away from all the commotion, I walked into a large corner where clothing was being sold. I bought a pair of loose pants for 150 baht (5 bucks?) and asked about a yoga mat. 

"No mat at market. You go shopping mall," I was told. 

Ugh. But I didn't know where the shopping mall was, or how to even ask to get there, so I walked into the street to look for a tuk tuk.

A part of me is annoyed this is blurry, but the other part of me thinks it's kind of perfect because it's exactly how I felt- disoriented and a bit off. 

I found a tuk tuk driver, and gave him my prized possession- my hotel's business card. I had asked the receptionist to write the address in Thai on the back and it has worked like a charm. The old man studied it, eyes squinted, and said my hotel name slowly. I nodded. 

"60 baht," he said. ($2.00) Perfect. 

The Beauty of Having No Destination

The beauty of having no destination is that there is no possibility of getting lost. Wherever you go, there you are. I got a second wind this afternoon and after dressing in the baggiest, most conservative clothing I brought, I ventured out.

I'd say I got lost, but like I said, I didn't really know where I was going to begin with. I kept passing a tourist here and there, so I knew I couldn't be far off from my unknown destination. I felt safe, though kept referring to my phone's interactive map with it still in my bag just as a precaution. (I had searched my hotel room high and low for my pepper spray but I seem to have misplaced it somewhere. Oh well, it wasn't needed.)

After about 45 minutes, I stumbled upon Wat Chedi Luang, a Buddhist temple dating back to 1475.

It was partially destroyed by an earthquake in 1545 and soon after, Chiang Mai fell to the Burmese. The wat was never rebuilt. So obviously no one can go inside, but they built a new temple in front of it: 

Believe me when I say this place is gigantic. 

The temple is guarded by these huge dragons, or, nagas. Their purpose is to protect the Buddha and the temple's belongings and to ward off evil.

In Thai culture, the feet are considered the dirtiest part of the body (and the head is the holiest). As a sign of respect, you are to remove your shoes before entering. 

Behold-the insides of the most gorgeous temple. You can see the monks sat closest to the front. Then behind are the tourists. How gorgeous, right? It smelled wonderful too- incense. 

Outside I found older monks, 

younger monks (and stray dogs)

and more stray dogs. :(

(Side note on monks: It is considered extremely respectable to be a monk. Some men are monks for 30 days, some for longer. It gives you and your family religious merit. Anyone that helps out a monk (either buying their clothing, or donating to them when they come by before dawn to ask for donated food) will all get religious merit. Some men who commit petty crimes can avoid jail time by being a monk.)  

Satisfied that I had found my destination, I hailed a tuk tuk, negotiated a price (by "negotiate" I mean I accepted his first request of 100 baht (about $3), which is what the ladies at my hotel said I should expect to pay), and jumped in. It wasn't the safest ride of my life- I feel like Thai roads have no real rules. I mean people are whizzing by on their mopeds with two kids under six years old and two adults. I'm not kidding, either! Plus, they drive on the opposite side of the road as the US and Europe so that kind of threw me. But whatever, I made it home in 5 minutes and now I'm in for the night. 

Daze of Day 2

I'm having a tough time remembering if I felt this poorly when we first got to Germany. I feel like the morning of my worst hangover, with someone kicking me in the stomach just for good measure. I've been chugging water and eating well, but man, short of a few hours this afternoon of lucidity, I've felt in a painful, exhausted fog. I caved and slept for an hour this afternoon.

The above meal is Khow Pad Samunprai, a meal I ordered via room service. I had a sinking heart when ordering it, like maybe I should just suck it up and go downstairs and sit while they make it at the restaurant. However, at $2.96, I enjoyed that meal in my room guilt-free. I'm certain I can get it for cheaper at the market, but when I've seen room service lunches in the $30 dollar range at hotels back home, I figured I could swing the three bucks. ;) The meal was pretty amazing- unlike anything I've ever had: Thai-style fried rice, tofu, crunchy veggies mixed with a bunch of herbs. I asked them to make sure it wasn't spicy and while they spared me the peppers, this meal's fresh ginger roots made my throat burn. I also detected some lemon grass as well. It was pretty amazing! I even remembered to tell the girl who delivered it, "Kop Koon Kah," which means "thank you".

Here is where I spent about an hour and a half this afternoon. The sun was intense but the pool wasn't heated, which made for the most delicious plunge every so often. I was the only one there, and I loved every minute. Joints in my wrists, fingers and toes were aching pretty badly but the heat was a quick cure for the time being.

Now it's just a matter of killing a few hours until I can sleep for the night. I looked into Thai massage but unlike the room service, the hotel charges a pretty outrageous price by Thai standards- $40 for an hour. Alway the bargain hunter, I'll keep looking. I thought about maybe going into the old town in a little bit (it's just after 4 now), maybe explore a bit... the heat is still pretty intense though and I don't know if it's the lyme disease or what but I feel so dizzy being in it for too long, especially with a ton of clothes on (Thai are pretty conservative). Might have to wait a few more hours.

Wish I could find a place that sells yoga mats. Could go for putting myself through a restorative sesh maybe.

Also wish I had brought more long sleeved shirts and long pants. I brought these black lightweight lounge pants that I've been wearing around because I feel out of place in shorts. I bet down in the south near the beaches anything goes, but like I said, conservative is the dress code. Also, in the morning, the vampires mosquitos are on the hunt! Ok now I'm just rambling, time to make a game plan. 

Morning

I slept fitfully. Thailand has a well deserved reputation for hard beds. My body feels bumped and bruised from lugging my bags yesterday.

I was so famished this morning that at 530am I dug out a half eaten date & nut bar that I had crammed into a baggie at the bottom of my purse. Desperate times, people. I couldn't wait for 7am to roll around.

At 6:59 I was downstairs and hopped on that buffet breakfast like I hadn't eaten in weeks. Two pieces of French toast, watermelon and a mystery fruit that I had mistaken for pineapple later, I decided on my next mission: buy toothpaste.

I was told to walk to the gas station. So walk I did. It was a short walk, but plenty of interesting things of note: Entire families crammed onto one vespa (no helmets!), stray dogs running around sniffing for food, people walking to work, spirit houses outside every single establishment. Spirit houses are mini temples dedicated to the spirits filled with offerings like flowers, incense, candles, etc. I would take a pic but it's the biggest faux pas in the book, apparently, because Thais believe the photo will capture the spirits and take them away from protecting their business/workers/etc. So no photo for you, but I bet if you google them, you could find them. I arrived at the gas station, and left with some crest, chocolate covered almonds (the only food I could identify with certainty) and a giant bottle of water. Even though I get free water at the hotel, I feel better having some bottled water on hand for brushing my teeth. Yeah you read that right. Having spent extensive time in Costa Rica, I learned the hard way that brushing with sink water is a sure way to get yourself sick.

Here are some crap iPhone shots from this morning. Blogging from my phone so photos may be out of order: Buddha at my hotel, area where they hold a cooking class, my breakfast, koi fish in the gardens at the hotel. I'm gonna try to rest now. Maybe I will venture out to the old town if I can find the energy. Xo

Thailand Travels Notes: Flight Over

*Apologies if this post is laden with redundancies/misspellings. I'm so tired, the words are starting to cross.

Currently in: Chiang Mai, Thailand. I arrived a few hours ago after a total of 14 hours of travel. You know when you're so exhausted and you push yourself just one step further and you lose it? That was me about twenty minutes ago. Had myself a good cry- just mentally and physically drained. But things are looking up- some tofu pad thai was just delivered to my room (probably highway robbery at $5.40, and it contains some exotic mushrooms so saying a little prayer I don't die from food poisoning) and it's almost 7pm so if I can just make it until 9pm before I go to bed, I'll be happy. (Key to jet lag is to make yourself stay up until it's time to sleep local time.)

Here's how my travel went:
Check in and security was simple and painless in Germany. Germans are so freaking efficient and orderly and that is why I love them. Of note: I didn't have to take my shoes off to pass through security (in fact, they told me to put my shoes on!) and they told me to "make a picture for testing" with my camera.

So, here's the picture I took- this is my little bag of liquids I brought on the plane: body lotion, hand lotion, anxiety meds, ear plugs, lip gloss and face spray.

Disclaimer: I have anxiety. It used to be hibernate-in-my-room-all-the-time horrible, but it has gotten much better and now only seems to happen before awkward social situation and before/during long travel.

I had a WTFamIdoinggoingtoThailand moment before boarding. My heart started racing and a tiny part of me wanted to call Greg and tell him to come back and get me. But that feeling settled when these two monks sat down across from me. I was a little surprised to see monks at an airport because I've read that monks aren't supposed to travel any other way than by foot, but there they were, bags in hand...which made me wonder: what exactly do monks pack? They just wear their habit, right? Anyway, I sat with that thought for a minute, and I watched as the other Thais around them went about their business. Every time they passed by the monks, they would crouch down, bowing their heads. This, I remembered reading, was a sign of respect. It's polite to never have your head higher than anyone else's.

So the plane finally boards. I had minor anxiety on the first leg of the flight and meditated for what felt like, and probably was, hours. The monks were seated two rows in front of me exuding this air of calm. Airline attendants bowed their heads with their hands in prayer position. The monks had their breakfast at 5:45am which is tradition.

Thais I've encountered so far (admittedly limited to the airport and plane ride, haha) offer nothing but giant smiles, genuine, with warm eyes. They are loud and laugh with their bellies. They bow their heads to me in the airport. Not a full "wai", but a sign of respect. It brings tears to my eyes, as I feel instantly put at ease. Like they acknowledge me, maybe sense a bit of my discomfort.

We get on the plane, and I'm psyched to have an aisle seat. I have a moment of wanting to drop kick this kid in front of me who repeatedly SCREAMS the German equivalent of paper, scissors, rocks with a dad who is either deaf or simply doesn't care that everyone around them is trying to sleep and it's midnight. The kid is SO loud and I'm so exhausted, and I don't know how to say "be quiet" in German, so my heart starts to race and I begin to sweat. For someone with anxiety like moi, this is kind of expected. I tear off my sweater, trying to calm down. An attendant serves dinner. Her large meals on wheels cart blocks any chance of an exit out of my seat. It makes my head nearly explode. But I see the monks staring straight ahead, calm, quiet, inward. Instead of popping an anxiety pill, I try to go inward. I get my ear plugs. I count to 50 in my head, take slow breaths. When I get to 50, I start  over, and over again and over again until I'm asleep.

At 2:30am, I'm up. At 5:30am, I'm up again, again at 7am. We are served breakfast. I take tiny bites of yogurt and a roll. My anxiety comes back, choking me. I order japanese tea. It's funny how certain food or drink can bring you back to a place in time. One sip of this tea and I'm instantly transported to sushi with my mom when I was around 20. Maybe 18 or 19. Who knows, but it's at this place called Bizen, an upscale sushi place and we have to sit on the floor. It's so calming, and mom is the queen of calming me down. My heart relaxes. I count as I eat, trying to think of nothing but my breath. Short of having a meltdown with a full out anxiety attack, that's the only thing I have control over- my breath.

MVP's of the trip over here: Earplugs, the super thick travel pillow I brought for my back and the monks.

And just so you can see how taxing this trip was, here are my before and after shots:

                    Happy happy, joy joy                                      Wanting to crawl into a hole and die

In other news, my hotel is adorable. A small boutique resort with simple rooms and lush gardens. Here are a few shots:

Quiet sign outside my room

View of the courtyard from my room

Pool where I plan to spend my day tomorrow

Until next time...

Take Off

Ignore the fact that it looks like I'm choking Buckles.

Today's the day I leave for Thailand. It has been such a stress-free day. So far, anyway. Woke up again at 4:30am, went and picked up Greg from the rink who was getting in from a game up north. We had breakfast at 5:30, and went back to bed. Then I finished packing up, and now we're just killing time until it's go time.

Here's what 44 lbs of yoga clothes, maxi dresses and skirts (apparently it is essential to dress conservatively for temples, etc.) look like. I didn't have enough room for my yoga mat which is a huge bummer because I really like my mat, but they have them for sale at the yoga shala and it will be less expensive to buy one there than go over the weight limit.

So, stay tuned and wish me luck, friends!

Birthday Recap

Birthday Flowers

Wednesday was my 28th birthday. We had a lot to do during the day - various appointments to run to, the repairman to meet- but we set aside the evening for a homemade dinner, a chocolate cake from scratch and a movie (The Whistleblower- not at all an uplifting movie, but really good nonetheless). It was a really nice night.

Do any of you use sleep masks while traveling? Greg does, and he got me this one for my upcoming trip. It's silky, padded for comfort, and lined with black on the other side for maximum blackout potential. Also, it's hysterical with the eyelashes and barely there eyebrows. I will definitely be using this on the flight! Three more days...eeek!

On Medicine

I picked up all the meds I would need for my six week Thailand trip today. Due to the high cost of meds in the states, I overestimated the amount I would need. (I'm taking antibiotics for Lyme disease. If you'd like to read my Lyme story, click here.) Well I should've researched how Germany handles meds around here because I ended up having to pay out of pocket for almost all of it. Apparently doctors can prescribe only so much. Insurance companies keep a close eye on what's distributed and doctors can get in trouble if they prescribe too much. It wasn't a huge deal, as paying out of pocket here didn't cost nearly as much as if I were back in the states.